PowerWriting with Focus
PowerWriting
Creating a PowerGraph 1,2,3,4,1
We have been working on PowerWriting during our Writer's Workshop session the last two weeks. Please read the following short paragraph. This paragraph is an example of a 1,2,3,4,1.
Read the following paragraph. Notice the focus.
The topic of this paragraph is Joby.
The focus of this paragraph is the selected trait: frightened.
In the story, "Drummer Boy of Shiloh," by Ray Bradbury, the central character, Joby, could be described in one word: frightened. As he sits in the darkness he thinks about the battle ahead with the reality of death hovering over him. The reason for his anxiety is justified because like other drummer boys, he has nothing but his drum and drumsticks to use during war time. While other soldiers have guns and rifles to protect themselves, he is merely beating a drum leaving him more vulnerable than others. Joby's apprehension is not surprising seeing as he just doesn't have the resources that other soldiers have as they enter battle.
Here is the organizer used for this paragraph:
(P1) Joby + Frightened
(topic + focus)
(P2) battle + death
(Support: Answers: Why is he frightened?)
(P3) no protection + anxiety
(Elaboration: Answers: Why does battle scare him?)
(P4) drumsticks/drum + vulnerable
(Detail: Proof from the story)
(P1) Joby's apprehensive + summarizing statement
(Closing statement: Topic restated with summary)
Let's dissect how this paragraph was constructed:
Here's the Power 1. The corresponding sentence below it.
(P1) Joby + Frightened
(topic + focus)
In the story, "Drummer Boy of Shiloh," by Ray Bradbury, the central character, Joby, could be described in one word: frightened.
Here's the Power 2. The corresponding sentence is below it.
(P2) battle + death
(Support: Answers: Why is he frightened?)
As he sits in the darkness he thinks about the battle ahead with the reality of death hovering over him.
Here's the Power 3. The corresponding sentence is below it.
(P3) no protection + anxiety (Elaboration: Answers: Why does battle scare him?)
The reason for his anxiety is justified because like other drummer boys, he has nothing but his drum and drumsticks to use during war time.
Here's the Power 4. The corresponding sentence is below it.
(P4) drumsticks/drum + vulnerable (Detail: Proof from the story)
While other soldiers have guns and rifles to protect themselves, he is merely beating a drum leaving him more vulnerable than others.
Here's the Power 1. The corresponding sentence is below it.
(P1) Joby's apprehensive + summarizing statement
(Closing statement: Topic restated with summary)
Joby's apprehension is not surprising seeing as he just doesn't have the resources that other soldiers have as they enter battle.